The Ottawa Senators Valentine’s Day Gift Guide
By Hunter Eitel
For fans of the Ottawa Senators, a gift from someone who loves them is a great reprieve from this train wreck of a season.
It’s that magical time of the year, everyone. It’s almost Valentine’s Day, a day that is to single people what competent management is to the Ottawa Senators.
Now this list is primarily for those who are in a relationship (Dating or marriage) with a Senators fan. You may have noticed the spark in your Sens fan has been down over the last two years, please know it’s not your fault. If it happens again just curse Eugene Melnyk’s name and hold the Sens fan in your life until they stop crying.
What would really cheer up your Sens fan is a gift from the heart, yet you might be stumped on what to actually get them. That’s where I come in! I’m here to make sure that your day of romance goes smoothly and you find the perfect gift!
Chocolate
Ah yes, the go-to Valentine’s Day gift. Most of you were probably already considering this, but for Sens supporters this delectable treat is one of the only ways to find solace in hockey this year. Containing phenylethylamine, the compound that gets the brain to release dopamine, chocolate will bring a smile to your hockey lover’s face, unlike the Ottawa Senators.
Alcohol
The other way most Ottawa fans have gotten through this year is alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol. Whether it’s whiskey, scotch, vodka, gin, wine, mead, cider, rum, vermouth, moonshine, tequila, rum, brandy, sake, absinthe, or just good old-fashioned beer, you can’t go wrong with any choice! Alcohol and hockey go together like peanut butter and jelly, and that’s even more true for fans of terrible hockey teams.
A Daniel Alfredsson Jersey
Get your Sens lover something that won’t leave them as an unrestricted free agent this summer. A jersey with the name of the greatest Senator of all-time on the back is the perfect gift in this regard.
A Dinner At Tucker’s Marketplace (Or Your Local Buffet)
A dinner date at a popular all-you-can-eat restaurant is a great way to spend time with the love in your life, while also allowing them to eat away the feeling of having Eugene Melnyk own their favorite hockey team. If you’re in Ottawa, try Tucker’s Marketplace. If you can’t make it to Ottawa, a similar restaurant will suffice.
Ottawa Redbacks Season Tickets
Maybe a break from hockey is what your significant other needs. How about season tickets to a Ottawa sports team that is run by people who actually know what they’re doing? The Redbacks are coming off an appearance in the Grey Cup Final and should provide some sports related joy to your partner this season.
NHL 19
Does your Sens fan think he/she can run the organization better than Dorion and Melnyk? Get him/her NHL 19! It has a very in-depth franchise mode where they can make sure Mark Stone and Matt Duchene actually re-sign with the team this summer.
A Gritty Bobblehead
Because who doesn’t love Gritty?!
A Punching Bag With Eugene Melnyk’s Face On It
Exercise and beating up the man ruining the Ottawa Senators, the perfect stress relief for a Sens fan!
Give Anders Nilsson More Starts In Net. dark. Next
You
But in the end, it’s you who is the most important gift to your Sens fan. While they deal with horrible management and ownership, you can be there. You can talk to them, spend time with them, love them like no one else can. You are already an important piece in their life, and being there for them during an awful season for the Ottawa Senators is the greatest gift any struggling hockey fan could ask for.