Under the tree today, there were a few presents for your Ottawa Senators.
Daniel Alfredsson gets a replica mini Stanley Cup (hopefully this won’t be the only one he gets in his career).
Jason Spezza gets a helmet rear-view mirror (no more blind pass-give-a-ways).
Mike Fisher gets a cameo in the next Miley Cyrus music video (because his first performance was so strong).
Alex Kovalev gets an ounce of dignity (because maybe then he’ll care about actually playing hockey).
Milan Michalek gets a bucket of glue (to keep his faux-hawk in place).
Nick Foligno gets to star in the next season of Jersey Shore (where he finds out Snooki is DTF).
Chris Kelly gets a stone-cutter (to get his hands out of the stone block they are stuck in).
Jarko Ruutu gets a tooth sharpener (so he can get back to being ‘Sharko Ruutu’).
Chris Neil gets 12 weeks of couples therapy (for him and Brian McGrattan to rekindle their relationship).
Jesse Winchester gets the deepest V-neck shirt you can buy (for his fist-pumping ways at the O-town clubs).
Peter Regin gets a empty net goal (because God knows he needs one as he is the lowest scoring forward on the team).
Ryan Shannon gets a copy of the movie Big (because a guys’ gotta have dreams).
Sergei Gonchar gets a new hockey stick (then maybe he can score a goal and break out of his 20 game goal-less drought).
Chris Phillips gets a Anton Volchenkov blow-up doll (then maybe he could be his old shutdown self again).
Erik Karlsson gets a fake I.D. (for all those road trips to State side).
Filip Kuba gets anger management courses (because he is just too mean on the ice).
Chris Campoli gets a copy of Eat, Pray, Love (both the book and the movie for the nights he just wants to curl up and spend some ‘me time’ with himself).
Matt Carkner gets a mace (so he can knock-out that walrus Colton Orr in their New Year’s Day game).
Brian Lee gets a muscle transplant from Madonna (because apparently being 6’3″ and 206lbs still gets you pushed around in the NHL)
Brian Elliott gets a Casey Jones t-shirt (Ninja Turtles rule!!).
Pascal Leclaire gets the wolverine surgery (maybe a skeleton made of adamantium will keep him out of the infirmary).
Coach Cory Clouston gets an unlimited supply of aspirin (for all the headaches Kovalev causes him on a daily basis).
GM Bryan Murray gets a magic trade machine (so he can finally win a trade he makes).
Ottawa Fans get vuvuzelas (so they can actually make some noise at Scotiabank Place).
Toronto Maple Leafs get the First Overall Draft pick in the 2012 Entry Draft (before they trade it to Montreal for 1st Line Centre Scott Gomez).
Merry Christmas To All!!!