A Look Inside the Senators New York NHLPA Meeting

I have made contact with my verified hockey sources and  have managed to obtain a transcript of the private meeting between the Ottawa Senators players prior to their larger NHLPA meeting in New York.

Jason Spezza: Ok guys, thanks for coming. I’m just going to go over this list and make sure everyone’s here and accounted for. It’s alphabetical, so I’ll start from the top. Alex Auld… wait a sec, why are you even on this list.

Alex Auld: You guys sent me over here as our team’s representative earlier this summer for the negotiating committee with Phillips. I haven’t left since! I assume Murray’s got a contract for me when I get to return to Ottawa.

[Everyone stares at Phillips]

Chris Phillips: What!? Someone needed to stay in New York, I had a brewery to run.

[Players all nod in approval]

Jason Spezza: Um, well hate to break it to you Alex, but there’s no contract waiting for you back in Ottawa.

Chris Phillips: There’s free beer for you at “The Big Rig” on the house though. You might want to try the signature “Big Rig Gold” or maybe a “Big Rig Seasonal”. I highly enjoy the “Big Rig Rideau Red” myself.

Alex Auld: I can’t believe it… you’ll want me back. Just you all wait, third time’s the charm.

[Auld storms out of the room while Spezza continues going over attendance list]

Jason Spezza: Marc Methot, I’m not sure if everyone here’s met him. He’s an Ottawa native, a good old local kid for those that don’t know.

Chris Neil: [Whispering to Erik Condra] Hey, that Methot guy, he doesn’t look like he’s over 30 does he? And you’ve practiced with him, he’s not past his prime either?

Erik Condra: [Whispering back to Chris Neil]  No… why?

Chris Neil: [Whispering back to Erik Condra] O no reason, just some minor history with Murray and acquiring local players.

[Erik Condra shrugs his shoulders while Spezza finishes off the attendance list]

Jason Spezza: Now that we know everyone’s here, there’s some stuff Don wants us to go over. First off, he’s encouraged by the public being on our side and he says Twitter’s a huge part of that. So shout out to everyone who’s using that.

Erik Karlsson: [Whispering to Daniel Alfredsson in Swedish] You hear that, can I re-activate my Twitter acount? Pleaseee!

Daniel Alfredsson: [Whispering back to Erik Karlsson in Swedish] Absolutely not, when my sons get Twitter then you can re-activate your account. Until then end of discussion.

Jason Spezza: Also, Don was wondering if there was anything else that us players wanted to include in negotiations. Anybody?

Marc Methot: Get EA Sports to pronounce our names correctly!

Chris Phillips: Make “Big Rig Brew” the official beer of the NHL!

Daniel Alfredsson: Free nachos for injured players!

[Awkward silence]

Jason Spezza: Well then, um I’ll be sure to try and bring those topics up. Lastly before we go, EK you still good making the speech for our team, I think you’ll have the largest voice fresh off your Norris victory.

Erik Karlsson: Well uh, I wrote a speech but uh I’m not uh sure how good it is. Uh uh I really think somebody else should do it uh I’m not a very good speaker.

Jason Spezza: You’ll be fine, everyone will be paying attention to your flow anyway. [Jason Spezza begins laughing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMxJzdVYtXY]

Daniel Alfredsson: [In his head] And this is the man taking over my captaincy…


Topics: Ottawa Senators

Want more from SenShot?  
Subscribe to FanSided Daily for your morning fix. Enter your email and stay in the know.

TEAMFeed More Senators news from the Fansided Network

Hot on the Web From golf.com