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Am I Losing My Mind? How About My Sens Army Card? Am I Actually Cheering For The Leafs?

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I have found myself over the past few days in a situation that I have never been in before, and never thought I would experience.  I was a Sens fan long before I was a Sens blogger, and am still a fan despite knowing I am supposed to show some “journalsitic integrity” in my posts.

I am a die-hard member of “Sens Army” but I have found myself intrigued with the Blue Team‘s run at the playoffs.  It wasn’t supposed to go this way.  “Leafs Suck”, don’t they? That is the 2nd mantra of Sens Army, right after “Go Sens Go”.  Heck, it might even be 1st on the list.  Part of the requirements for inclusion in Sens Army is a strong hatred for all things Blue and White.

But watching what the Leafs are doing in making their current run at the playoffs has piqued my interest, and I find myself watching the scoreboard (I still can’t bring myself to watch a complete game) and wanting the Leafs to win.  I watch the scores of the Rangers, Hurricanes, Sabres, and Thrashers to see how close the Leafs can make it, and if they can squeeze in.  The closer they get, the more I watch.  I NEED HELP.

I don’t like Brian Burke.  His bravado and arrogance turn me off.  But I like what he has done in T.O. lately.   To take away the players he has in the last month while building what appears to be a stronger team now and for the future is impressive, and he is finally backing up his talk.

I have been a Dion Phaneuf fan since his Team Canada World Junior days, but I put that allegiance on the back-burner the day he put the “other Maple Leaf” sweater on.  His performance lately has been nothing short of remarkable, and with the trade of Tomas Kaberle, the Leafs are finally “his” team.  He is returning to form and becoming the fierce competitor he was when he first came into the league. He has put that team on his back and he is playing like a man on a mission –  to carry them to the post-season for the first time since 2004.

I don’t know if the Leafs will make the playoffs.  As a Senators fan, whose team is in the midst of its worst season, perhaps ever (given the expectations), I don’t shouldn’t want to see the Leafs make the playoffs.  Leafs fans are hard enough to deal with when their team is losing.  I can only imagine how it will be if they should make the playoffs and the Senators don’t (which they obviously won’t).

My devotion the the Senators has not waned, but somewhere along the line my hatred of the Leafs has, at least for the moment.  When the teams face each other, there is no question whatsoever where my loyalties will lie.  However, somewhere deep inside, and against all that I know to be good in this world, I find myself cheering for the Leafs down the stretch.

This brings me to Senators’  games like last night in Atlanta and tonight against the Rangers.  The biggest part of me wants my team to win, because they are my team.  A smaller part of me wants them to lose, so it increases their chances of getting the first overall pick.  And an even smaller part of me, that I didn’t know existed previously, wants them to win (especially over those teams) because it will help the Leafs’ chances at the postseason.

Maybe its just that I don’t want the Bruins to get yet another lottery pick.  Or maybe I just feel sorry for them and their fans who have put up with so much, like this one:

http://thecanucksofvancouver.blogspot.com

Or maybe it is that I am finally getting a small taste of what they have put up with for the last 6 years and I am now taking pity on them……

OR…to quote a line from an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie…

“IT MIGHT BE A TUMOR“…yeah that must be it…I CAN ONLY HOPE!

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